Roses are red, violets are blue, life is a bitch and so are you!
If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
I loved going to school. Staying there was a problem, though
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, it shrunk!
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands, for instance if they are placed around your throat she's probably slightly upset.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van!
Come on! Laugh at yourself.... everyone else is
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.