The quickest way to a man's heart is to learn that there is no heart, only a penis. Concentrate on that!
Why don't the people who cite Bible verses ever cite Genesis 19:30-38, where Lot's daughters get him drunk and fuck him?
Ah, football. The beautiful game. The beautiful, corrupt, racist, anger-fueling, alcoholism-spreading, hooligan-spawning game.
"'Football'? In my country we call it 'soccer'!" Yes, and in your country you call a six-piece KFC extra-crispy bucket 'breakfast'.
A game in which players carry an egg in their hands can't be called "football" (call it handegg). A game where 22 players chase a ball for 90 minutes for a 0 : 0 score can't be called "entertaining".
Just for fun today: 1. Empty out mayo jar 2. Clean out mayo jar 3. Refill with vanilla pudding 4. Eat it in front of your coworkers 5. Enjoy